When I first arrived in Tokyo to work with Tanaka-san and his team, I thought I knew how to handle business relationships. In Italy, we start meetings with warm greetings, kisses on the cheek, and lots of small talk about family and food. However, my first meeting in Japan taught me some important lessons about social differences.

On my first day, I tried to greet Tanaka-san with our typical Italian style. I moved closer to give the traditional two kisses, but he quickly stepped back to maintain his personal space. Instead, he gave a formal bow. I felt so embarrassed about this social faux pas! I quickly learned that in Japan, formality and hierarchy are very important in the workplace.

The differences don’t stop there. In Italy, we love direct communication and speaking with our hands. Every gesture helps us express our feelings. But in Japan, indirect communication is the norm, and too many hand movements can make people uncomfortable. I had to learn to be more reserved with my body language.

Even simple things like small talk are different. In Italy, we might ask about someone’s children or weekend plans. But in Japan, these personal questions can be taboo, especially with someone you don’t know well. I’ve learned to use proper honorifics when addressing colleagues, and to stick to safe topics like the weather or work projects.

One interesting experience happened during a business dinner. In Italy, we often share food and reach across the table – it’s normal! But in Japan, this isn’t appropriate. I also didn’t know that sticking your chopsticks vertically in rice is a serious taboo. Tanaka-san politely explained these customs to me, and now I understand why Japanese colleagues seemed uncomfortable during earlier meals.

The biggest challenge was understanding that a ‘yes’ doesn’t always mean ‘yes’ in Japan. Sometimes, people say yes to be polite, even when they disagree. This indirect communication style is very different from our direct Italian approach. Now, I pay more attention to non-verbal cues and the context of conversations.

After six months here, I’m still learning, but I’ve come to appreciate how these cultural differences make both our countries special. Understanding and respecting these social mores has helped me build better relationships with my Japanese colleagues.